The Myth of Equality

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There was a woman who loved a man and followed him up into the sky to build a castle.

‘Here, this is the perfect spot.’ He said on a spacious cloud. ‘This is the place’.

She smiled and nodded enthusiastically. She was not sure that it was perfect in anyway but she went along with it.

He had a design for the castle and she showed it to her with great pride. She was impressed and excited that she would have the ideal home though it was far from all she knew and everyone she loved. He showed her how to blend the debris and the moisture in the clouds to make bricks and she got eagerly engaged. When she looked around, he was gone.

Certain he would be back soon, she kept working and working and working. She didn’t know how long he was gone but by the time he came back she was exhausted. If the birds had not taken such a liking to her and brought her berries, nuts and seeds she would not have been able to live. She was eating literally like a bird but she was getting fatter and fatter. Then one day a tremendous pain came over her and a tiny baby emerged. Her breasts flowed with plenty of milk and she was able to suckle her precious child.

On an ordinary day, when she was finishing her castle with her child strapped to her with reams of material, her man came back. When she saw him first, she was just so grateful he returned she forgot her anger and her confusion. But he was not alone. He had another young woman with him. ‘Who is she?’ She said pointing at the waif of a woman.

‘She is my new wife.’ He responded matter-of-factly. ‘She is here to help you finish the castle. She has tools and is very crafty. She will do the intricate work in the wood. You will be able to rest more.’

Astonished, the First Wife said little. He noticed the baby and her husband looked happy momentarily.

‘Is it a boy?’ He asked.

Exasperated at her new situation, the First Wife found some courage unexpectedly tumbling from her mouth.

‘What difference does that make to you?’ She said.

He looked alarmed and perhaps embarrassed in front of his second wife so he ignored her remark.

They had brought more food and resources so a feast was made to celebrate. What they were celebrating the First wife did not know.

‘May I return to my home and my family?’ She asked while nursing her baby after the meal.

Her husband looked at her and shook his head.

‘This is your home now. We are your family?’

She looked at him and the new wife and felt an emerging pain coming from deep within her.

How was all this possible? She had toiled tirelessly to build this castle for her husband who she thought was her King. Now, she realised she was not a Queen but a slave girl.

The Reality of Equality.

In this tale, we see how globally a woman can often deluded into thinking that things are better than they seem. She is often conditioned to believe that a man will come and will take her into her dream world and she will be provided for and cherished. Perhaps this man is her employer or her lover, her teacher or her partner. She believes in the system he represents and is reluctant to question her role in this world.

It is not a world that she designed nor is it one in which her full contribution is valued or cherished. She will work hard and do what is expected of her without much comment or complaint. Her body will be secondary to the demands of the system around her. She may or may not want this role but that is not important. Her opinion of her role and the tasks she must do are not important either.

She learns the hard way that she cannot build a home in a man. She learns that the sky is not the place to build a home either. She learns that nature and the birds are her friends and see her in a way no one else does. She is often put in competition with other women. She is often left to have her child without proper assistance and often she won’t make it.

For over 30 years now I have worked to see equality in the world and I realise the folly of my own ways. How I thought things were getting better for women around the planet but they are not. I see how women are suffering in silent ways and do not really understand how to be valued as a woman. I see that men are often also victims of a broken system but don’t have the courage, compassion or conviction to change anything.

We are in a terrible stalemate about where we stand when Gender Equality laws and policies globally are in decline. Women often seem more disconnected from themselves than ever before. We are in a time where we need to seek ways to look at the broken systems that hold us all captive and that do not offer much for the next generation. Gender is a social construction used in many ways against us to peddle us myths on beauty, power, and influence. That which was constructed can be deconstructed and rebuilt and not in the clouds.

In telling stories perhaps we can regain our perspective and see the futility of what we are doing now. As I work to end social injustice for women in parts of the world where they commonly die during childbirth or their babies die or are not healthy, I know it is a symptom of a much bigger issue. When I work to counter human trafficking, I know that trading in girls and exporting them around the world for sexual appetites is not stopping anytime soon. I am not willing to give up. I am not willing to jump off the cloud just yet. But, let us all come together and ask ourselves ‘What now?’